True Friendship......

Enough of that Sissy Crap!



Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems

that always sound good,

but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises

that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy

little smiley faces on this card -

Just the stone cold truth

of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will

help you plot revenge

against the sorry jerk who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will

try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will

know you are plotting something

that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will

rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will

tell you horrible stories about

how much worse it could be,

until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will

use little words.

7. When you are sick -- I will

tell you to stay the heck away from me

until you are well again.

I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will

point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath....

I pledge it to the end.

"Why?" you may ask.

"Because you're my friend!"

Friendship is like

peeing your pants:

Everyone can see it,

but only you can

feel the true warmth.