Ghosts.....

Here's a thought for you.

If you were to be privliged enough to have the ghosts of you past present and future visit you I wonder what your thoughts would be.

Would you have any regrets with decisions that you made in the past?

Would you love the life that you are living in the present and are you living it to its fullest?

What things would you change in you present to make you future better?

But most importantly would you make ammends for past mistakes, live life like you enjoy it and have the courage enough to make changes to make your future what you dreamn it would be?

Clarification.....

Just to be fair to Sean, I just thought that I should clear something up. Yes, I wish that he wasn't going down this road, I think that this is something that he has to do to get to where he needs to be. A little off the straight and narrow but still leads there in a round about way. The biggest problem that I have is that I wish I didn't have such an issue with it and really I don't know why I do. I let it consume me and it really shouldn't because in the grand scheme of things it really is a minute detail. He comes home to me every night, loves me, takes care of me, tries to never deny me anything (will always try to find a way to make things happen), works his butt off to provide for the family, I have fun with him and we have fun together, we laugh together, talk about anything and everything. He is the biggest and best part of my life. So for some people his issues would be the end of things but for me it is just another challenge to help me be a stronger person.

I am disappointed in his choices not in him.

Queries....

Michaela was invited to a birthday party for a girl in her class. They had it at Airdrie Edge Gymnastics club, looked like a ton of fun. The little girl that it was for asked for no presents, but a small donation for the Red Cross to send to Haiti. Now I thought that was really sweet. But my question is...how much of that is HER and how much of that is Parental influence? How many 6 year olds do YOU know that think like that? I know that there are a few here and there and you hear about them from time to time but really it IS a rarity. How much would YOU influnece your kids to do something like that? What would YOU promise your child they would get if they did this? How much of it is just fro show and how much of it is genuine? These questions are among some of the ones that have been going thru my head since Micha got the invite for this party. What are YOUR thoughts?

A little This and That

I have been afraid to write for awhile as many people I know have been verbally "attacked" by a cowardly annonymus commentor on their blog. I say that if you don't have the guts or balls to leave your name then you don't deserve to comment.

- Anyway I have been having a rough go these past few months wondering if motherhood really IS the best job there is. It definately is the HARDEST. But lately my kids have been giving me a run for my money. Love'em to bits but sometimes I wish i could really just get away from it all.

- I have been having a hard time dealing some choices that Sean has been making. It is tough when the love of your life, best friend etc.is making bad choices. Hard when you know the true person they are and they try to be someone different. Hard when they think the person they are "showing" the world is the real them and you know different. Hard to know they still believe and have a testimony, but hide it. Hard because our arguements are always the same. I wish that I could really make him see how I feel about it instead of having the same arguement all the time. I just don't know what it would take to do it. I want him to stop drinking partly because it upsets me but mostly beacuse he is a diabetic and SHOULDN'T be drinking PERIOD. I love him and want to keep him around for a long time.

- I have been working out like a mad woman,, doing the P90X challenge, so I should be getting buff here in a few weeks. This time around is my second go at it. The first time I did the lean routine and lost a bunch of inches, so after a few attempts at starting it again I am now commited to doing the classic routine. I am looking forward to seeing awesome resluts. I may even go as far as posting before and after pics, that is if I am brave enough.

- Micha is LOVING french emmersion and I am looking forward to enrolling Logan in the same school on Monday. The cut off here is Feb so he, being a Dec baby will be one of the youngest in his class, but he is SO ready for it. Should prove to be interesting. I just hope that I am lucky enough to be able to enroll him in the AM class.

that's it for now I will fill you in on more happenings later when I am not so tired and worn out.