So far this summer...

There really hasn't been much going on in the life of the Sandersons this summer.

Hunter is growing like a weed. He is my biggest baby...which really isn't saying much as all my babies have been small. But he is reaching those milestones at an earlier age than the other 2. I thought that Micha was early but Hunter beat her by 2 week with crawling, 2 months for the teeth and 1 month for starting to climb those stairs. He is trying to wrestle with Micha and Lolo and it is really cute to watch him interact with them. He sure feels as if he has a lot to prove being the baby of the family.

He had his MRI a couple weeks ago and the results are in. First let me tell you that it was not a fun experience holding him when they were giving him the gas to put him under and an even more unpleasant experience to lift his lifeless body and carry him from my lap on the chair to the bed, and then to have to leave him there. Yes folks I was a weepy mess.

But on to the results they said that there is nothing nuerologically wrong with him so that is a good thing, but I have an appointment scheduled with his pediatrician anyways to see if there is another reaason for the abnormality and if there is something that can be done about it. Oh and I am also going to get his hearing tested. Sean thinks that I am worried about nothing, but his responses to sound are so unconsistent that I am concerned, but like I tell him, I would rather be concerned and it turn out to be nothing, that not worried and it be something.


Oh and he is still pukey so I think that it is time to call a chiropractor and see of there is something that they can do to help. I can tell where Hunter has been in the house by the trails of puke that I find. So I thought that it is worth a try for sure.

We got new neighbours on either side of us. So far I have only seen each them once and both seem to totally keep to themselves.

Here are some photos of Hunter that I thought that you would enjoy.

A big surprise

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

That is really all that can be said. i don't even know who I am thanking.

I went to the mailbox the other day and was greated by a small but thick envelope with only a happy face as a return address. I opened said "package" and was immediately in tears as someone sent us a mass quantity of Superstore gift cards with just a simple note saying that they hope that it helps. I have to say that it did a great deal as I only had enough money to get the kids milk and bread and maybe some eggs to make cookies later. But someone noticed something or just knows how hard it is when the one parent that brings in all the money is going to school and knows that EI doesn't pay all that much.

So to that person I am very grateful for their generousity and comapssion.

Milestones reached....

So my last post brought to an end my babysitting sharing. Although it was alot of work I enjoyed it for the most part. But I am now enjoying the time that I get to spend with my kids and actually get out and do things as with 6 kids I was stuck at the house because our truck barely fits 3 kids let alone 6. I think that was part of my problem I felt stuck at home with no place to go. But now we all can do things like we did last year and have fun together.

Anyways that is no the reason for this post, I am posting because I am in awe of my little Hunter. He is now 6 months old and already crawling and boy can he move. He sure knows what he wants and works to get it. There is no stopping him. I think that this attitude will serve him well in his life. Oh and he has cut his first tooth and his second one is not far behind. So we are going to be having a couple more sleepless nights I think. Although he is still not sleeping thru the night so it really hasn't made a difference in his sleeping pattern.

Micha is now back to her happy go lucky self. Still trying to do things that she thinks that she can, and not listening ALL the time, but it is a far cry better than her attitude ahs been. I think that she just needed our dynamics to go back to normal. I think that she missed the one on one time that she got from me.

Lolo is his loving self and fighting with his sister, but nothing out of the ordinary.

I am glad that things are back to normal around here and my kids are back to their old selfs. They miss G and C and I have to admit that there are days that I miss them too. Sometimes I miss C's constant questions and him asking "Tara are you happy with me?" I have to admit that most times I was and I feel blessed that I was given the chance to watch some amazing kids.

I am also glad that all the mishaps that went on the last week did not interfere with an amazing friend as I don't have many of them and value the ones that I do have and appreciate all that she has done for me in watching my kids and being there with a listening ear.

Don't know what else can go wrong.....

A friend of mine and I have been trading off babysitting duties for a few months now and for the most part it has been going pretty good. I get 2 whole days to work, catch up on cleaning and do anything else that I want with only Hunter tagging along for now. That means that I have 2 days with 6 kids running around here and most times having fun.
Lately, however, it has not been going as smoothly as it has in the past. 2 weeks ago her son, who is the same age as Lolo, was caught sticking things up his bum. Yep that's right folks he was sticking our toys up his bum and laughing about it. I know that he thought that it was funny, but I wasn't laughin at the moment. It's kinda funny now, but that's because I am now finished sanatizing the toys. The next day he had a few accidents in his pants (after I asked him if he needed to use the washroom) so that was some more fun. Then came Monday, he bent my baby swing frame so now Hunter can't swing in it anymore. Tuesday was a good day he was really making an effort to behave himself. But that brings us to Wednesday....My bedroom is a no kid zone when all the kids are here and they know that rule and usually obey it. Wednesday, however, Lolo and C went into my room to play and got locked in C's sister G let them out and I told them not to go in it again, but they did and got stuck yet again. But this time instead of asking for help they pushed my door beyond it's frame (as it is a pull door from the inside and not a push door). But anyways off it came from it's hinges. So we had to go out and buy a new door.
Now that brings me to Thursday....and I am glad that they were at my friend K's house and not mine as Lolo and C were fighting over who got to watch the TV and off it came from the swivel that held in on the wall and down it went. Now K has no TV. I must say that she handled it a whole lot better than I would have. Maybe that's because it would have been another thing on my list of broken things at my house. But The kids went to ben with out dinner and that was the start of my night frome hell..but that's another post.
Now here we are on Friday and I really hope that nothing else goes wrong as I don't know it I can take any more mishaps at my house or K's.

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I don't know if I am ready for this.....

Last night I went to the parents orientation for Michaela's kindergarten. I am not sure if I am ready to let her grow up any more. She is my first and I know that it is going to be tough on me when I see her go to school. I know that she is ready for it. I just hope that I can catch up to her. She's running ahead and I am trying to keep her right where she is. I can't believe how fast time has flown and now she is ready to start putting her fingerprint in the real world and I don't know if I can handle it.

I put her into french immersion and I am excited that she will be learning a secong (well third) language (as she already is learning sign language).

I guess that I have a few months to be as ready as she is to head off for school I just can't but wonder if it gets any easier.

100th post. Humph..didn't think that it would take THIS long

A couple weeks ago I took B, M, L and H to see the Hannah Montana movie and now I have "Hoedown Throwdown" stuck in my head. Boom Boom Clap. Boomdi clapdi clap..... It has been running in my head for weeks now. But I thought that it was a cute movie and one that M will certainly want to get, maybe for her birthday.

There are certain movies that are a MUST SEE for me. One thing that these movies MUST have to peak my interest are one of the following actors..Julia Roberts, Renee Zelwegger, and Jennifer Garner. If any of these women are in it I am all about standing in line to see the movie. So luckily a movie came out with Jennifer Garner the day before my birthday and again luckily I got to take Sean with me. It is the only day of the year that I get to talk Sean into seeing a chick flick with me and he is not allowed to complain about it.

So we went to see "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" I thought that it was a cute movie that was a neat take on the Charles Dickens Christmas Carol and they even spoofed that near the end of the movie. There was no swearing as I recall but it did have it's fair share of sexual inuendo. But if that kind of thing doesn't offend you I reccomend that you see this movie. It is a lighthearted fun movie and one that is perfect for a night out with the girls.

Life goes on

Tax season is coming to an end so that means that I don't have to spend so much time in front of the computer with my head buried and nose to the grindstone. I am going back to my old work routine and more fun time spent with the kids. I just hope that the weather changes here soon so that we can get out and enjoy some time together. I feel lucky that the weather has been awful lately as I have been stuck inside working. So I haven't felt like I have missed much.

I took the kids to Northland Village to see "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch". What and experince that was. It felt that there were millions of peole crammed into a couple of square feet of space. But the kids loved it and had fun dancing and singing with Miss Spider. So I guess every once in a while it's worth my discomfort be give them an experience like that.

I was thinking of taking Lolo to Thomas who is rolling into Heritage Park on my birthday, but it is just too much money and I don't even know if that price gets you into the park. And really they don't get much for the money that parents are expected to dole out for this experience. I guess he won't care cause I am not telling him.

My birthday is coming up and I still have no idea what Sean is going to do or IF he is doing anything at all.

Sean is going to be in school here again May 4 for another couple of months. So I am stressed to the max about money as there will be none for 2 months. Well there is EI..but that really doesn't count.

Rumours

I know a little about them and the effect that they have on people.

Six years ago when I started dating Sean....well let me start farther back. In High School, Sean had this one friend and the 2 of them were pretty inseperable. Now let's fast forward a few years, this friend got married and the twosome became a threesome. All of a sudden things change...normal right? One would think. This couple tried to keep Sean down..ok that's my opinion, but judging from what they did I would say this is a valid opinion.

Ok back to 6 years ago, Sean and I started dating and this couple started spreading rumours about me and how I was doing all these things to Sean and was stopping him from having a relationship with his daughter. Well, Sean didn't listen to them and asked me to marry him, the rumours then got worse and all of a sudden I was no good for him and he should call off his wedding because I was wrecking his relationship with his daughter. According to this couple (now remember they were good "friends" and I thought one was a friend of mine)I had forced him (now if you know Sean you know how riduculous that is since no one can force him to do anything)to do a bunch of things (I won't go into detail as that is not my point in this post).
The wedding day came closer and these "friends" choose to be somewhere else then at the wedding of a very good friend. Which was fine by me since after all that was said about me I really didn't want them there anyway. But it wasn't just about me it was about Sean too and he wanted them there, so for him I was upset by that.
Their friendship was never the same after that and then all of a sudden it seemed to end I never knew why at the time, and have since come to find out (from Sean) why it ended. I won't go into detail about it but the couple started spreading rumours about Sean and something that he supposedly did, but like I said if you KNOW Sean you would know how outrageous that accusation is.
Now my point is that the talk has since died down, but the effect that it has had on Sean is long lasting. He still is upset about it today and I know that he wishes that it never happened. But since we can't go back in time we have to live with the far reaching effects of such hurtful talk.
This action has not just hurt one friendship, it has ended a few others because these other "friends" choose to believe this other "friend" instead of having the nerve to go to Sean and find out what really happened form his mouth and not the rumours that were going around.

Now to the real point of all that....I have an old friend who is going thru something right now. I don't know much of the details, but it is not my place to judge or say things out of turn. If I were to have any questions about what is going on then my responsibility is to ask her about it and not listen to what is being said by other. Isn't that what friendship is all about anyway...being responsible for our actions and not saying things that hurt and destroy?
Rumours hurt and destroy friendships and no matter what people do later, you may just not be able to repair that damage.

Friendship

For the last little while I have been thinking about friendship and the kinds of friends that I have in my life right now. There are 2 people that I have in my life that are 2 polar oppisites when it comes to being a true friend.

One has been going thru one of the toughest times that a mom of 3 can go thru. She is going thru a divorce and for the first few months of it was homeless as her husband technically kick her and the kids out of the house. Even with nowhere to go and moving from house to house for months she made time for her friends and we (I) made time for her. Now with her life heading back in the direction of calm she is still making the time for her friends. She just didn't rely on them for the hard times she relies on the during the good times too. I envy her strength and determination and the fact that in the face of utter desperation she kept her head high and knew that in the end she and her children would be better off. They have grown as a family unit and she is a stronger person for all that she has endured.

I have/had this other friend that says that she is going thru a tough time in her life although I wouldn't know as she has not talked to me in about a year. there has been the odd time that we have talked. She came to see me in the hospital and a monthe later we went for dinner, but in the mean time and in between time she has not called or talked to me at all. I used to call her all the time and finally got tired of being the one that always called or wwent out of my way to talk to her. I used to go talk to her at church in the library. A couple of weeks ago during R/S I was sitting with my SIL and sister and one chair down form me sat my "friend" she totally and completely ignored me and I got to thinking that she usually does and it has been me that goes to talk to her. I wonder what I did that ticked her off so much that she feels that ignoring me is the answer. I have noticed that she talks and does things with other people so it must be that I did something to make her feel that I am not even worth the time or effort to talk to anymore. I have been debating whether or not I should talk to her about it and lay it all on the line. Most people I have tlak to about it think that I need to "clear the air" as it were as I have nothing to lose.

I guess I was just thinking that there are the true friends that don't push people aside in their tough times. Then there are those "friends" that may just use the excuse that they are going thru a rough patch to exit a friendship.

I am really glad for the true friends that make me feel good about myslef and even in their times of need they still make the time to find out what is going in the life of their friends.

I think that we all need to take the time to thank those people in our lives who we have the pleasure of calling our friends.

So thank you to all my friends that I am glad that also call me friend. You all know who you are and you all mean a lot to me and I am glad that I have you in my life.

Concerns

I have been noticing some things in Michaela's behaviour that makes me wonder if there is something that is amiss in her lately. She has always had a really hard time with change whether that be a new class, a new teacher, new students in her class or even if we change activities. These have always been hard adjustments for her but lately there ahve been other things that she has been doing that make me wonder. For instance she has been taking he clothes out of her drawers and laying them down in rows on her floor. Her underwear, socks all neatly laid out in rows and she haas also been pairing her pants with her shirts and laying them on the floor in a row too. Then there is the stuffed animals that have certain ends of the bend and pillows that they sleep on. If I am to move any of these things a temper tamtrum ensues. She is the one that has to put them away, but out they come the next day, it is almost ritualistic.
Now I am not sure if this act is just her needing to have control over something in her life or if it is something else entirely, like OCD. Now I have been thinking OCD because it is closely linked to ADHD (for those who don't know, her dad is ADHD) and I wonder if this is how it is manifesting itself in her. There is also a possibility that I am worried about nothing, but I would rather know now before she goes into kindergarten in September. I would rather her be diagnosed with OCD rather than labelled as a problem child because of her reactions to things that happen to her.

On another note, Hunter doesn't go for his MRI until June 30 quite a long wait, but at least he will be a little older and able to deal with the sedation better.

Sean is still not going to church and I don't know how to get him back. He blames the members for their lack of caring and says they are hypocritical. Other than supporting him right now so he knows that I love him and want him to be happy I don't know what to do about it all. I feel that if he knows that I love him and want him to come back than he will realize that he wants it too. He says he knows what he is doing isn't right, but he still knows the church is true, but right now is angry at the people and doesn't want to step inside the building right now. He is at the point that he deson't see the point of going to a building to prove that he believes. So yeah I am at a loss, but as long as I keep going and taking the kids then maybe one day he will surprise me and go with us.

Logan right now is just being his fun loving self and aside from a few melt downs he is a happy loving boy who is giving no reason to worry, for the tiem being...that being said I am always ready for the next thing to happen.

I got a call from Hunter's pedeatrician yesterday and they are schedueling him for an MRI because the base of his spine from the ultrasound was not visable. I knew that was going to happen, but doesn't lessen the anxiety as they will have to sedate him to get it done. Not fun for a 2 month old, but at least we will know what the deal is and wether or not anything needs to be done.

I am a firm believer in NOT having the kids sleep in Sean's and my bed. It is our place where the kids are not allowed to intrude upon. Michaela was never in bed with us even when she was first born. Logan slept in bed with me (while Sean slept on the couch) for the first week as he had jaundice and that was it. After he was jaundice free he was in his own bed and has been ever since. Now we come to Hunter, because I was really sore after this c-section, he slept in bed with me (Sean was again on the couch) for the first week and ever since I have been paying for it. He has been really hard to get to sleep after his nighttimes feeds. The last couple of nights I have been up with him for at least an hour after he eats while he fusses. I would finally get him to sleep, I would go to put him in his crib and just as I was settling back into bed he would start fussing again. Sometimes all it would take was putting his soother back in his mouth rock him in the crib and that would do it. Lately he as gotten me out of bed 3-4 times after each feeding (and lately he has been getting up 3 times a night). At this point I am so frustrated that I give up and bring him into bed with me and what do you know he falls right asleep. Yet if I was to move he wakes up and it all starts over again.
Lately, he hasn't just been fussy at night, he has been fussy all day too. Nothing I do seems to make him feel any better, or for that matter me. This last week has been hard on me. I hope that both Hunter and I make it thru and get some sleep.

Random Stuff

1. Hunter had his ultra sound yesterday and I won't have the results until I hear from my doctor which I hope will be in the week.
2. I heard about the offer that I put in for the consignment store and I am number 2 on the list so if anything happens with the offer that she choose then it will go to me. But I am thinking that I want to open a comsignment store regardless of the way it goes. If it happens to be Cater Tot then great if not then I will look into opening one up on my own.
3. I have this pet peeve that rears its ugly head every once in awhile. It's nothing really major but it really bugs me none the less. I REALLY HATE mouth noises. Doesn't matter who's making them people or dogs. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. I could be sound asleep and the dogs will start licking or doing whatever it is they do with their mouths and it will jerk me right out of a sound sleep.
4. Another pet peeve is the fact that I am a loud swallower. Have been all my life. Don't know why and don't know why it doesn't seem to happen all the time.
5. As all mothers know, when you have a newborn you are up at least once during the night to feed a hungry baby. I am no different and I have been watching some late night TV each time I am up. Sometimes it happens to be an infomercial (as long as it is a good one). When I can't find a good one I watch stupid TV shows like "Married..with children" (when you're tired it seems that you will watch almost anything). But even during the wee hours of the morning I can' help but wonder "what in the world is someone like the Darcy's - who are well off, doing living in the same naighbourhood as the Bundy's- who are white trailer trash without the trailer?" I know, that's what lack of sleep will do to a person.
6. We decided to put a TV in Logan's room in the hopes that it will give us some time to ourselves and time when we don't have to watch "Treehouse". I was amazed to discover that by doing so we have drastically decreased the time that the kids spend in front of the TV. They play more upstairs (sometimes the TV is on, but they aren't watching it.) Who knew?

I got the go ahead

Well the doctor has given me the go ahead to start some light exercises until I get stronger to run like I used to. So for now it's all about walking and light pilates. I hope that it doesn't take too long to get back to the place that I was before I got pregnant. Sean has promised me that if I get to where I like myself.(fit and strong) then he will take me on a trip next year. So I am looking forward to that. It just means that I have some work to do. I have given myself a goal of 40 lbs (but if I get the strength that I used to have before that weight goal then I will be happy). I used to be able to wrestle with Sean and not feel the pain that I feel now.
So I have an appointment with my family doctor to get help with my eating habits/diet plan. I have also become interested in the Turbo Jam program (I found it during one of my many nights while I was up nursing Hunter). I think that I may actually buy this system when I get stronger. If you have heard of this program use any other that focus on the core area let me know as that is the area that I need to focus most of my attention. It is lacking from the 3 c-sections that I have undergone in the last 4 years.

Just a typical Wednesday

Today, Hunter had his pediatrician's appointment and I am relieved to say that there is nothing neurologically wrong with him, but they are sending him for an ultrasound to figure out what is causing the "pukering" of the skin, then later they will do an MRI because they can determine more (but it is too invasive for a baby). It was a big concern of mine that he would have difficulty with walking in the future, but that is not the case so that is a big relief to me.
Last night was a hard one on me. Hunter was up every 2 1/2 hours to eat and then it would take an extra hour to put him back to sleep. His 12am feed was particularly hard on me cause he was he fed until 12:30 then didn't settle down until 1:45 and then decided that he was hungry again at 2:30 and then it just went down hill from there. I know that in the future I am going to miss the closeness of these moments, but right now I would really like to sleep longer than an hour at a time. You know I evern tried to suppliment him with formula but he didn't sleep any longer so I determined that there was no point in that anymore. Oh well one night he will surprise me and sleep the night away.

He is growing fast so that is good. He already weighs 9lbs 13ozs and for my babies at this age that is HUGE!!! But he is on the short side like Logan. Although he is taller than Logan was at this age, so Hunter may end up being the BIG little brother.

Not much else is going on in my life at the moment, excpet the fact that I am seriously considering going into the consignment business. The one in Airdrie is for sale and I am looking into what I need to do and what kinds of things I need to get to make this a reality. I think that I need to get out of the house a bit more. But the idea of working in an office setting is not one that appeals to me. I am a people person and need a job that gives me that opportunity to interact with people just like I had while I was waitressing. We will see how this goes and if it is menat to be then I hope that it will work it self out. Then I can hire my best friend to manage it for me then she will have to more up here.

So tonight I was in my room sorting some files from a client when Michaela came in and said
"Mom, I drew on my wall and Logan drew on his"
"What?" I said as I got up and went to see what she was talking about.
"No, no, mom don't look at it yet, it's not finished"
I walked into Logan's room and there on his wall was a murial that she had drew. I made my way into her room and there was the writing on the wall, as it were.
We made them clean up their little graffitti and as Michaela was cleaning up one of the walls in her room, she told me that it was her "No Boys Allowed" sign.
Well now that it is all cleaned up and they are in bed, I can see now that they were expressing their creative side, however, I would have like to have seen that creativity on a piece of paper rather than on their walls.

Don't know what is wrong

Well for those of you who don't know our third and final child was born Dec 3 2008 via C-section. The poor little guy went unnamed until the last day in the hospital and the name he ended up with was Sean Hunter Ray Sanderson, he goes by Hunter. He looks like a a splitting image of big sister Michaela (only in boy form). I have been finding it hard to get back on the swing od things and I have work to do that I am finding it hard to organize my time to get it done. Hunter is keeping me quite busy. It feels like I am constatly feeding him and can't seem to get motivated to get started. I am trying to get my house clean and the other kids fed and dinners made and laundry done and bills paid and all the other stuff that comes with being a SAHM and throwing another child into the mix (especailly one that is nursing) seems to throw everything off balance. So unfortunately my work is suffering and I really need to get it going so that I am not to far behind. But I was ready to sit down tonight to get started on the organization of the files and Hunter demanded my attention so I had to put that on hold to feed him and now here I sit looking at the massive work staring back at me not knowing how to get motivated to get started again.

I have also been going through bouts of depression not knowing if I can really do this and feeling alone, stressed and losing patience and not knowing where to turn. I feel that I am losing myself and am being swallowed up by the ever pressing demands that are made on me every day. I don't know how to claw my way out of the hole that I feel that I have fallen into.

Well enough of that, on a lighter note, Michaela has started to "feed" one of her stuffies. If you are thinking that by "feeding" I mean Breast Feeding then you are correct. Sean came down the other night just mortified that she was nursing her stuffie. I thought that it was cute and each time I say that I need to feed Hunter out comes her toy and up goes her shirt and promptly latches it on herself and feeds it. Then she says "I beaty you Mommy". Who knew it was a race.

Hunter goes to a pediatrician next week for a variety of reasons. The most pressing is the fact that he has a wierd "Y" shape at the base of his spine along with 2 parinidal dimples (pits) along the "Y" shape. I hope that all is well and that I am worried for nothing, but better safe than sorry..right? He is also puking all the time but still gaining weight. right now he is 9lbs 4 ozs so growing like a weed. There are other things too, but they are low on the list of concerns.

Well I will end this entry for today and I promise that I will be more dilligent in my entries from her on out.