A big surprise

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

That is really all that can be said. i don't even know who I am thanking.

I went to the mailbox the other day and was greated by a small but thick envelope with only a happy face as a return address. I opened said "package" and was immediately in tears as someone sent us a mass quantity of Superstore gift cards with just a simple note saying that they hope that it helps. I have to say that it did a great deal as I only had enough money to get the kids milk and bread and maybe some eggs to make cookies later. But someone noticed something or just knows how hard it is when the one parent that brings in all the money is going to school and knows that EI doesn't pay all that much.

So to that person I am very grateful for their generousity and comapssion.

A little history and a question

You know I never have the chance of "hiding" a pregnancy until I am ready to announce it. I am one of these women that show right away. I have always envied these women that never show until they are well into their second trimester. My body chsnges and it is known that I am prengant right from the beginging. So I am ery aware of my body changes very early on. I go through all 9 months uncomfortable and "fat" and all the fun stuff that usually comes with the last few months of pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Michaela I was in maternity clothes the first month. and I just gor bigger and bigger until I was so big that I had siatica problems and could barley take 5 steps without being in excuritaing pain. She sure did a number on me and I hope that this pregnancy (although as per usual I am ALREADY showing) is easier than her's. Logan's was easier on me but I still end up gaining a ton of weight and already look like I am 3 months pregnant.

I can't help but start to think of this baby's delivery. I had SOOOOOO many problems with Michaela that an emergency c-section was inevitable and so as I got pregnant with Logan so soon after, another c-section it was with him. I have waited the required 2 years and indiated by my doctor so he said that a natural birth could be in the cards..however, I don't want to go through the labour just to have to anothe c-section.

Micha was 11 days overdue and then on top of that I had to be induced twice (the second time with a double dose) and it still took hours before I went into labour. My water broke and still no signs of her wanting to enter this world. I ended up pushing for almost 12 hours to no avail, she was stuck on my pelvic bone, hadn't turned I wasn't dialting, and was just having a horrible experince. But it wasn't until I had 20 other people in my room that I knew something was wrong. But really no one was telling me. But from the time I was told that an emergency c-section was happening to the time she was born was 20 minutes. I was glad at that point to have it all over with. Later (a year later) my mom actually told me how serious it all actually was. Micha's heart rate had gone dangerously high and my blood pressure dropped dangerously low (which explains why I spent so much time in recovery in shock). In fact mom told me that my doctor was furious with the nurse for waiting so long to call him in. Needless to say she wrecked me and it took me a long time to recover from it. In fact it wasn't until Logan was a year that I started to feel better from it all.

So I am nervous about the idea of a natural birth because of all the complications that I have had. If I do decide to have a natural birth I am going to make a point that I WILL NOT go as long as I did with Michaela if nothing is happening. It is too hard on your body to go through labour and then have c-section on top of it all. Doing one is hard enough just imagine both especially when your life and the life of your baby hang in the balance.

So what would you do in my situation..just forget about having a natural birth on the chance that you will have to same complications (cause they can't guarantee that you won't) or just go for it and hope for the best and have a natural birth?