Well for those of you who don't know our third and final child was born Dec 3 2008 via C-section. The poor little guy went unnamed until the last day in the hospital and the name he ended up with was Sean Hunter Ray Sanderson, he goes by Hunter. He looks like a a splitting image of big sister Michaela (only in boy form). I have been finding it hard to get back on the swing od things and I have work to do that I am finding it hard to organize my time to get it done. Hunter is keeping me quite busy. It feels like I am constatly feeding him and can't seem to get motivated to get started. I am trying to get my house clean and the other kids fed and dinners made and laundry done and bills paid and all the other stuff that comes with being a SAHM and throwing another child into the mix (especailly one that is nursing) seems to throw everything off balance. So unfortunately my work is suffering and I really need to get it going so that I am not to far behind. But I was ready to sit down tonight to get started on the organization of the files and Hunter demanded my attention so I had to put that on hold to feed him and now here I sit looking at the massive work staring back at me not knowing how to get motivated to get started again.
I have also been going through bouts of depression not knowing if I can really do this and feeling alone, stressed and losing patience and not knowing where to turn. I feel that I am losing myself and am being swallowed up by the ever pressing demands that are made on me every day. I don't know how to claw my way out of the hole that I feel that I have fallen into.
Well enough of that, on a lighter note, Michaela has started to "feed" one of her stuffies. If you are thinking that by "feeding" I mean Breast Feeding then you are correct. Sean came down the other night just mortified that she was nursing her stuffie. I thought that it was cute and each time I say that I need to feed Hunter out comes her toy and up goes her shirt and promptly latches it on herself and feeds it. Then she says "I beaty you Mommy". Who knew it was a race.
Hunter goes to a pediatrician next week for a variety of reasons. The most pressing is the fact that he has a wierd "Y" shape at the base of his spine along with 2 parinidal dimples (pits) along the "Y" shape. I hope that all is well and that I am worried for nothing, but better safe than sorry..right? He is also puking all the time but still gaining weight. right now he is 9lbs 4 ozs so growing like a weed. There are other things too, but they are low on the list of concerns.
Well I will end this entry for today and I promise that I will be more dilligent in my entries from her on out.
4 comments:
Congratulations on your beautiful son! I hope you are feeling better. I was starting to wonder when we were going to hear from you again! Glad you are back.
I had some Post-partum after Lindsay was born. It felt exactly like you are describing. Although I couldn't recognize it. Kodie was the one who got me through. She called everyday to see if I needed anything. And finally made me write down "ASK FOR HELP". There is no shame in admitting that you can't do it all. Call your VT and ask them to either help clean your house, or hold your baby so you can. Get someone to come take Hunter for 1 hour so you can do WHATEVER you want--out of your house. Take some time for YOU. And lower your standards. You had a BABY less than 6 weeks ago. You are in a new challenge and it takes TIME to adjust.
Tara, remember that there are people in this world, outside of your family, who LOVE you and want to help. Let them serve you. (If only I were closer) We all need someone to serve otherwise we can't follow the commandment to SERVE ONE ANOTHER. Allow yourself to be that person.
Remember that I am thinking of you and love you!
My third one threw me for a loop! I had a hard time adjusting too, I don't know that I have fully adjusted! I think I just live with things and know that someday it's all going to be gone so I need to enjoy it, well that and some good medication!
Good luck with it all, I hope they find Hunter to be healthy! I will keep you and him in my prayers!
Hey lady. I've missed your updated. Glad to hear that you are all healthy and just trucking along. I think it's important to be honest about what we're feeling, and then find some support! You're not alone in all this. Hugs and again big congrats to you and yours!
i miss you so much. i wish i was closer so i could help you out. call me if you need/want to. you're doing great. you are an amazing mom!
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